Only in Florida…
37-year-old Megan Mariah Barnes was arrested last week in Florida after she caused a two-car crash on the highway, because she was shaving her bikini line behind the wheel. If that doesn’t make your crotch hairs twitch, it gets better. While Megan was busy shaving her coochie coo, her ex-husband, who was sitting in the passenger seat, held the steering wheel for her.
One day before the shave and crash, Megan was convicted of DUI and driving with a suspended license, so she shouldn’t have been driving in the first place.
The officer at the scene told KeyNews.com (via HuffPo) that Megan told him she was shaving her business on the road, because she was “meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit.”
Megan was charged with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance.
Okay, these are my questions:
- Is “I’ll just shave my pussy in the car” the new “I’ll just put my lipstick on in the car”?
- Why couldn’t Megan’s ex-husband drive the car while she got her vagina sex-ready in the backseat? That’s how a real lady does it.
- Megan’s ex-husband sniffs gas, right? Because who in Trish Cyrus Hell would hold the wheel while their ex-wife cleans up her punane to do fuck times with her boyfriend?!
- Megan sniffs gas, right?
- Couldn’t Megan just spread a little Nair on her crotch before getting into the car and let it eat her pubes while she drove to the Super 8 to meet her boyfriend?
- Megan obviously cares about maintaining her pussay situation at any cost, but why isn’t she showing any love to those wrong ass ROOTS?! Bitch should’ve been touching up her roots in the car instead!
And just when I think Florida has given all it has to give, it gives even more. If Florida needed me to hold the steering wheel while it shaved its cooze in the car, I’d gladly do it.
