Celebrities love to name their babies things that no one else would name a child, either because they are exceptionally creative people, or because they secretly hate babies. No one is sure which, all they know for sure is that if you are a celebrity, and you name your baby “Tea Tree” it is pretty much guaranteed by anyone with even half a college degree that they will do drugs and end up in rehab and then somehow Dr. Drew will make money off of them. But that hasn’t stopped celebrities from naming their babies unusual things. It all began with Queen Elizabeth I, the first “celebrity” Queen of England. She is widely acknowledged as the first celebrity Queen for her popularity, her outspoken behavior, her hosting of a game show where people confronted their fears for money, and then in her later years landing a job as Color Analyst for the popular UFC franchise. At any rate, Elizabeth was the first celebrity to name her child something unusual. Her first child was named John, but she decided in a fit of whimsy to name her second born “Influenza,” which was ironic because at six years of age Influenza died of the Black Plague, which is a very different disease. From then on celebrities have named their children unusual things: Rumour, Camera, Kal-El, Free, and Apple, just to name a few. In that spirit, here below are the top 20 Names I Hope That Celebrities Will One Day Name Their Children: 1. Dog Taco2. Lil’ Splendid3. Tard Legwork4. Kevin Spacey’s Offspring5. Kevin Spacey’s Offspring II6. Chubbo-Claus 7. Jack Lemmon’s Ghost 8. Uuuuurp! 9. Considerate 10. Challenge Hammer 11. Epilogue 12. White Chocolate 13. Hard Candy 14. Brick Shithouse 15. Mephistophallus 16. Private Snake Dick 17. Karate-opolis 18. Unibowels 19. Crime of Passion 20. Window

Celebrities love to name their babies things that no one else would name a child, either because they are exceptionally creative people, or because they secretly hate babies. No one is sure which, all they know for sure is that if you are a celebrity, and you name your baby “Tea Tree” it is pretty much guaranteed by anyone with even half a college degree that they will do drugs and end up in rehab and then somehow Dr. Drew will make money off of them. But that hasn’t stopped celebrities from naming their babies unusual things. It all began with Queen Elizabeth I, the first “celebrity” Queen of England. She is widely acknowledged as the first celebrity Queen for her popularity, her outspoken behavior, her hosting of a game show where people confronted their fears for money, and then in her later years landing a job as Color Analyst for the popular UFC franchise. At any rate, Elizabeth was the first celebrity to name her child something unusual. Her first child was named John, but she decided in a fit of whimsy to name her second born “Influenza,” which was ironic because at six years of age Influenza died of the Black Plague, which is a very different disease.

From then on celebrities have named their children unusual things: Rumour, Camera, Kal-El, Free, and Apple, just to name a few. In that spirit, here below are the top 20 Names I Hope That Celebrities Will One Day Name Their Children:

1. Dog Taco
2. Lil’ Splendid
3. Tard Legwork
4. Kevin Spacey’s Offspring
5. Kevin Spacey’s Offspring II
6. Chubbo-Claus
7. Jack Lemmon’s Ghost
8. Uuuuurp!
9. Considerate
10. Challenge Hammer
11. Epilogue
12. White Chocolate
13. Hard Candy
14. Brick Shithouse
15. Mephistophallus
16. Private Snake Dick
17. Karate-opolis
18. Unibowels
19. Crime of Passion
20. Window